rcolley Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Hey. I'm doing a speech about green Day to my teacher and I don't know if this is a good ending:I plan on liking Green Day for a long time, unfortuantly for both my brother and my mum and dad. i don't know what I'd be like if they weren't in my life. Some people do discriminate us Green Day fans just because we like Green Day. I used to get teased for liking Green Day, but not badly. I wear my Green Day t-shirt and listen to the Green day music with pride, knowing that Green Day is one of the most famous and talented rock bands the world has ever seen.So what do you guys think?
Nele Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Overall it sounds quite good, but especially sentences like "Some people do discriminate us Green Day fans just because we like Green Day" are a bit over the top. Maybe right, but you sound like the poor poor poor Green Day fan, who hasn't a good live because people discriminate him.
rcolley Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 Overall it sounds quite good, but especially sentences like "Some people do discriminate us Green Day fans just because we like Green Day" are a bit over the top. Maybe right, but you sound like the poor poor poor Green Day fan, who hasn't a good live because people discriminate him.Alright i'll i might just take that bit out. .
captain peroxide Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Maybe don't say "I plan on liking Green Day..." because then it sounds like a very concious, methodical kind of thing. Maybe replace it with some more along the lines of "I know I'll like Green Day for a long time" etc etc.Otherwise, I agree with what's already been said about the "just because we like Green Day" thing. Other than that, this is excellent
Katarina. Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 ^ I was thinking that too..Oh, and about the ending.. I think it's a very nice speech, but when you say 'famous', to me it kinda sounds that that's the reason you listen to them.'Cause they're famous and stuff..But, good speech!
punkfunkdisco Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 I plan on liking Green Day for a long time, unfortuantly for both my brother and my mum and dad.I'd swap that round and say "Unfortunately for the rest of my family, I plan on listening..."I used to get teased for liking Green Day, but not badly. I wear my Green Day t-shirt and listen to the Green day music with prideYou could re-phrase that to make it clearer that you listen and wear your t shirt despite being teased i.e. "I used to get teased for liking Green Day, not badly, but I still wear..."A speech on Green Day sounds like fun! What subject is it for?
rcolley Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 I'd swap that round and say "Unfortunately for the rest of my family, I plan on listening..."You could re-phrase that to make it clearer that you listen and wear your t shirt despite being teased i.e. "I used to get teased for liking Green Day, not badly, but I still wear..."A speech on Green Day sounds like fun! What subject is it for?It's for my english. We have to choose something that changed our lives and I'm choosing Green Day
Ally Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Maybe don't say "I plan on liking Green Day..." because then it sounds like a very concious, methodical kind of thing. Maybe replace it with some more along the lines of "I know I'll like Green Day for a long time" etc etc.ye i agree with that, it doesn't quite sound right cos you don't tend to plan liking someone, you either keep liking them or you just tend to suddenly go off them.
**nobodylikesyou** Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 maybe you should mention WHY they have changed your life.
Miss. Awesome Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 i like it, and it's pretty true for the mostpart! i did a report on Billie and Green Day. i got an A+but at my school, only a few people like Green Day, so some of the other people didnt like it.but i didnt give a fuck wat they thought!
rcolley Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 i like it, and it's pretty true for the mostpart! i did a report on Billie and Green Day. i got an A+but at my school, only a few people like Green Day, so some of the other people didnt like it.but i didnt give a fuck wat they thought!good for you! . I'm only having to read it out to my teacher and she's allright with it.
CarnageXB Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Take some of the "Green Day" out. Replace with "they"
Eirik Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 maybe you should mention WHY they have changed your life.Maybe she mentioned that somewhere else in the speech.
rcolley Posted January 31, 2009 Author Posted January 31, 2009 Maybe she mentioned that somewhere else in the speech. I've mentioned why I like them at the beginning of the speech. .
Adrii1039 Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Take some of the "Green Day" out. Replace with "they"thats exactly what i was gonna say. but overall, it seems to be a good speech.
Rezurgam Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Ehhhh, the ending can be better. Take this out though: I used to get teased for liking Green Day, but not badly.
Hermione Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 What a brilliant project, I'm sure I don't remember school being that fun Yeah I'd agree with the advice in this thread already, and I agree replacing a few of the "Green Day"s with "they" is a good idea. Good luck!
Fuzz Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Could be a little stronger of an ending. Doesn't end feeling like "yeah, that was a solid thought". I agree about taking out the being picked on part. I don't think pity is a good way to end a speech.
Naked and Famous Posted January 31, 2009 Posted January 31, 2009 Take some of the "Green Day" out. Replace with "they"As has been mentioned, I have to agree with this ~ It's the only thing that really distracted me[/constructive criticism]Thanks for sharing that with us; well done! ~ I think you should share the rest of the speech, too!!
Hellcat Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 i dont think ive ever been teased for listenin to green day, just get written off by my mates but it doesnt bother me because i listen to a legit good band while their off listening to bad 90's influenced hardcore haha.
Yellow Felony Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Good going on the speech, just make sure to add a bit more details and work on the flow of you're writing.
Sara Armstrong Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 take out some of the "Green Day"'s and put "them"'s or something like that.oh, damn, some people already said that.well, what they said. lol
elijah182 Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 Since when have people made fun of Green Day fans? It's understandable with the eyeliner, tour with MCR, and ridiculous AI era clothing though.
shaye Posted February 1, 2009 Posted February 1, 2009 good for you! . I'm only having to read it out to my teacher and she's allright with it. You're lucky.I used to HATE public speaking, so much. Especially when it came to speaking in front of the entire grade.
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